September 9, 2007

Last-second field goals give So-Called-Expert the boot
By RANDY YOUNGMAN
The Orange County Register

Went to the Draft Choice Sports Grill in Laguna Niguel on Sunday morning to try to watch nine NFL season openers simultaneously.

I’ll have to read this sports section carefully this morning, just like you, to make sure which teams won, because my head still is spinning.

I think the Pittsburgh Steelers were the first team to score, on a Ben Roethlisberger touchdown pass to Hines Ward less than four minutes into a 34-7 rout, and I think the Cleveland Browns were the last team to score in the NFL nonuple of morning action.

I definitely know there were three games decided by last-second field goals, in the span of a couple of minutes, because the So-Called Expert had the losing team in all three: Denver over Buffalo, 15-14; Green Bay over Philadelphia, 16-13, and Washington over Miami, 16-13 in overtime.

And, no, I’m not going to accept the complimentary colonoscopy from Ted Lawton, the victorious Week 1 guest prognosticator. I’ve suffered enough already.

But things could be worse, as I discovered just listening to Jason Hunter of Laguna Niguel, the guy agonizing across the table from me at the Draft Choice.

When it looked as if his beloved Broncos would lose, Hunter let it slip that he recently had made a wager with a longtime friend, a Chargers fanatic.

If the Chargers finish with a better record than the Broncos, Hunter has to parade around Lake Havasu wearing a thong one day next summer.

If the Broncos finish with a better record, Hunter’s buddy, also named Jason, has to model the thong in public.

“It’s a bad bet for me, isn’t it?” Hunter asked.

Nobody at the table argued with him.

Suddenly, a colonoscopy doesn’t sound all that painful anymore.

Stanley gets around:

The Stanley Cup returned to Orange County this week and decided to get in a little golf before training camp opens Tuesday.

Stanley showed up Friday at Oak Creek Golf Club in Irvine, where the team conducted its annual charity tournament, and played three holes with Ducks owner Susan Samueli, CEO Mike Schulman and COO Tim Ryan.

Then Stanley accompanied Schulman to exclusive Shady Canyon Golf Club in Irvine. Stanley’s bodyguard, Michael Bolt, naturally followed him around.

If you still haven’t seen the Cup up close, it will be available for public viewing, and photo opportunities, Tuesday at Anaheim City Hall from 2 p.m. to 5 p.m.

Serrano checks in:

New Cal State Fullerton baseball coach Dave Serrano says UCI assistant Greg Bergeron has accepted an offer to join him on the Titans coaching staff but that assistant Sergio Brown hasn’t made up his mind about a similar offer.

Serrano also said he and George Horton, the new Oregon coach and his predecessor at CSF, are trying to set up a season-opening series in Eugene in 2009 when Oregon resumes its program after a 28-year hiatus.

“It would mean a lot to both of us,” said Serrano, who was Horton’s CSF pitching coach in 2004 when the Titans won the national championship.

Serrano stopped by the CSF campus Saturday morning to say hi to a few members of the baseball team who were taking part in offseason conditioning.

Asterisk, please:

The Chargers should get credit for two victories Sunday — for knocking off the Chicago Bears, 14-3, and for defeating the zebras, who had a difficult time seeing Chicago’s Tommie Harris in the neutral zone.

Ba-da-bing!Tiger Woods, who captured the BMW Championship at Cog Hill on Sunday, said it was great to be back in the Chicago area, where he’s “used to taking a lot of money from a certain basketball player.”

“Yeah,” NBC’s Johnny Miller quipped during Saturday’s telecast, “if you look under pigeon in Webster’s dictionary, it says, ‘See Michael Jordan.’”