I chose to come to Cal State Fullerton because I knew I’d be around a lot of people that don’t come from where I come from. I already had a PhD on “Hoodology,” so I needed a PhD in something else. I came out here and it was a challenge because there were a lot of close-minded people in the classroom that think like their mom and dad think, you know, in Orange County. I had to educate a lot of people in my classrooms because they thought that all gang bangers are gang bangers for this reason and all criminals are like this because of that and, you know, they had their fixed ideas on why people are the way they are. I think that they need to be educated because I feel that they’re miseducating a lot of people.
In jail, you would think that that would wake you up and shake you up and would make you want to change your life, but the truth is, what ends up happening is that there, you’re demoralized, you’re dehumanized, you’re disrespected, and you really don’t even exist. You don’t even use your name anymore, you’re a number, you know, and you’re told on a daily basis that you’ll be right back when you get out of here. You’re coming right back, no matter what you want, no matter what your desire is, you’re going to come right back, and they set it up for you to come right back because they make you parole straight to the same neighborhood that you got in trouble in. Gang members have to go straight back to the ‘hood where they gang banged from, they’re not allowed to transfer out, and if they get a transfer out, they can’t even go anywhere, they have nowhere to go. So, the system is designed to perpetuate criminality.
Basically, what their telling me is that I’m not a member of society. What they’re telling me is that if I don’t have a right to vote, then I’m nobody. So, if I’m nobody, then why even try? So, what ends up happening is that people like me just give up, and that’s why I gave up for so many years. There are many times, though, where my thinking still goes back there. If I’m struggling financially, or if my son and I don’t have enough money to pay whatever bills, my mind goes to criminality, I just don’t do it today. What stops me from doing it and not acting on the thought, versus back in the day I would act on the thought, is that I help a lot of people. There are a lot of people who depend on me.
Criminal and Gang Members Anonymous started in the men’s penitentiary, with the Mexican mafia, and now they’re all over the prison system for men. There’s never been any women CGA members and there’s never been any that are on the streets open to the public, just in the penitentiaries and in some treatment facilities. I recently started one in South Central that’s open to males and females, so I’m the first female of Criminal and Gang Members Anonymous. We’re just trying to reach out to the community, especially the juveniles, and let them know that we come from where they come from, and that there’s a way out. That’s what I want to do, you know, and that’s my passion, and that’s what I’m going to do until the day I die.